Just some thoughts


So I just realize that I've been learning a lot through all that happen in my life, even just in the past year. Yeah, it doesn't seems like it. But I do, I do learn a lot of things...
One of them is following the Lord, just the fact that it is hard. I know he never said that it's going to be easy at all, but when it comes, boy I feel like I want to quit. Yes, I have to admit that there is time that I just want to give up. It is so easy for me to look back and regret my decision following God like this... don't get me wrong, I love the Lord, it's just that I could have way better life and easier life at home. I don't have to drive motorbike in the rain and get my pants soaked on the way to work, I don't have to do my own laundry, I don't need to work hard to make friends, I don't need to create opportunities with people, life at home is easy.
But why would I do that, if I have to disobey God?
I know that he will bless me still if I would stay at home, but I would never met all these new people, experience things that I experience right now. I took that chance to change my life. And I don't want to have regrets! Therefore I stop looking back and start looking ahead. I look and set my eyes on Him, my eternal joy and glory.

Because I know, nothing in this world can ever truly satisfy me.

There is a hole in my heart and that hole cannot be filled by anybody or anything but my Maker. And I know, he is preparing something great, even when I don't see it, I just need to have faith.

And today I was thinking... of how much I have grown since 5 years ago. It doesn't seem that long ago to me. But now when I looked at myself in the mirror, I slowly see the image of my maker and not the old me. I realize how much I've grown up... and how much a lot of other people don't. And that scares me... what if Jesus come back and they are not ready? Ages can multiply but maturity increase when you have an intimacy with the Lord.

I praise God that he made me go. I thanked him that he took me out of my Father's house to be his own. As hard as it is, as long as he is with me, I can do it.

Right now there is some wars going on in my house, in my work place, in my church, but I am going to overcome it. As hard as it is... as long you are with me... as long my God is with me...

"I shall fear no evil..."

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