The big old EGO
The big old EGO, that's right. So hard to get rid of it. Ego, naive, and selfish. Oh my goodness. So many times I just think about me and me and me. I hate sharing my stuff with others. Like, I really hate it. and I will keep the best for my self. (why I wanna keep the best and give it to others??) But that's the Word say.
"Put others ABOVE you. Your self."
Dang! It's not easy. Not at all. Still have a hard time. Still is.
Man, so many times I try to not too, but I guess it's just who we are. Human, flesh, never wanna share. Competitive. Always wanting the best. If I know somebody that I really like, I don't want them to know my other-prettier-girl-friend. Right? Man!
since I was a little, I'm growing up and getting what I want. Always. Well, maybe not always, but most of it. (I'm not asking for 22 gun and my parents say, "Oh, what a great choice!" Right?) Anyway, I WILL get what I want. No matter what it takes. I wanna be a winner, whatever it takes, I WILL be a winner. (well, that's a good thing). I wanna that famous basketball player be my friend, and HE WILL know me and be my friend. Whatever it takes. Isn't it silly?
I am so competitive. Which I thought such a good things. I am so proud that I am competitive and I tell everybody that. Hmm.. I didn't say that competitive is a bad things though. Some people are very uncompetitive, so they will give up even before they're started. That's worse. But me, I will do ANYTHING to get WHAT I WANT. That's not good. That's bad. Very bad. So I will kick everybody that's in my way and I can care less about people around me and just focusing with my self. All the time.
My time, my food, my bed, my clothes, MINE!
I remember crying so hard when my mom give away my pretty dress to my friend so she can borrow it. I don't like my stuff being taken, even borrowed. I will never wear that dreess ever again. I was like, 3-4th grade at that time. Isn't it horrible?
I don't know, maybe I born selfish. I am so selfish, big invisible EGO tatoo in my forehead. That's how bad I am. That's me, behind the close door.
And I maybe still are. Maybe.
But when Jesus found me, He change my crap inside of me. Following Him, is not about me, and me, but it's ALL about Him. Ah ha! That's the rough part. But I wanna make Him happy so, I changed. And I wanna change. I wanna get rid of that big old ego. I wanna share my stuff with everybody, without hard feeling. I wanna be the same person behind the close door. Which is, I'm still on my way there. Not yet maybe, but getting there.
To give is greater than to receive.
I thought it was a ball crap. But, as long as I growing up. That is so true. The big TRUE. When you can give something to people, you give that to Jesus. I don't know how that things change in me, but it tooks me years to at least getting better at it.
Yeah, I hope I'm getting better at it. I will get better.
I WILL!
Natasha.C.D
"Put others ABOVE you. Your self."
Dang! It's not easy. Not at all. Still have a hard time. Still is.
Man, so many times I try to not too, but I guess it's just who we are. Human, flesh, never wanna share. Competitive. Always wanting the best. If I know somebody that I really like, I don't want them to know my other-prettier-girl-friend. Right? Man!
since I was a little, I'm growing up and getting what I want. Always. Well, maybe not always, but most of it. (I'm not asking for 22 gun and my parents say, "Oh, what a great choice!" Right?) Anyway, I WILL get what I want. No matter what it takes. I wanna be a winner, whatever it takes, I WILL be a winner. (well, that's a good thing). I wanna that famous basketball player be my friend, and HE WILL know me and be my friend. Whatever it takes. Isn't it silly?
I am so competitive. Which I thought such a good things. I am so proud that I am competitive and I tell everybody that. Hmm.. I didn't say that competitive is a bad things though. Some people are very uncompetitive, so they will give up even before they're started. That's worse. But me, I will do ANYTHING to get WHAT I WANT. That's not good. That's bad. Very bad. So I will kick everybody that's in my way and I can care less about people around me and just focusing with my self. All the time.
My time, my food, my bed, my clothes, MINE!
I remember crying so hard when my mom give away my pretty dress to my friend so she can borrow it. I don't like my stuff being taken, even borrowed. I will never wear that dreess ever again. I was like, 3-4th grade at that time. Isn't it horrible?
I don't know, maybe I born selfish. I am so selfish, big invisible EGO tatoo in my forehead. That's how bad I am. That's me, behind the close door.
And I maybe still are. Maybe.
But when Jesus found me, He change my crap inside of me. Following Him, is not about me, and me, but it's ALL about Him. Ah ha! That's the rough part. But I wanna make Him happy so, I changed. And I wanna change. I wanna get rid of that big old ego. I wanna share my stuff with everybody, without hard feeling. I wanna be the same person behind the close door. Which is, I'm still on my way there. Not yet maybe, but getting there.
To give is greater than to receive.
I thought it was a ball crap. But, as long as I growing up. That is so true. The big TRUE. When you can give something to people, you give that to Jesus. I don't know how that things change in me, but it tooks me years to at least getting better at it.
Yeah, I hope I'm getting better at it. I will get better.
I WILL!
Natasha.C.D
Comments