reach strategically

The big old EGO, that's right. So hard to get rid of it. Ego, naive, and selfish. Oh my goodness. So many times I just think about me and me and me. I hate sharing my stuff with others. Like, I really hate it. and I will keep the best for my self. (why I wanna keep the best and give it to others??) But that's the Word say. "Put others ABOVE you. Your self." Dang! It's not easy. Not at all. Still have a hard time. Still is. Man, so many times I try to not too, but I guess it's just who we are. Human, flesh, never wanna share. Competitive. Always wanting the best. If I know somebody that I really like, I don't want them to know my other-prettier-girl-friend. Right? Man! since I was a little, I'm growing up and getting what I want. Always. Well, maybe not always, but most of it. (I'm not asking for 22 gun and my parents say, "Oh, what a great choice!" Right?) Anyway, I WILL get what I want. No matter what it takes. I wanna be a winner, whate...

I have the best job in the world. I work in the largest company in the earth. It covers my meal, my place to stay, friends, health insurance, even death insurance. Every morning there's some angel's faces that I saw, I saw purity in pre-school kids. It's amazing. There's pure joy that they bring to my heart every morning, I can dance, sing for my Boss. Enjoy every sunrise here, in Topeka. (trust me, they have the best sunrise view). And share with young people. Fulfilling, exciting, and wonderful. Especially this week, I've been strugling with some serious issue that I can't get rid of for so long. I've been fighting through it, but I can't get out. Until one night, I was sick of it. So sick of my sin. I feel like I wanna throw up thinking that God forgave me but I still rebel and keep falling in the same hole. I am so sick. Spiritually sick. Let me quote some of my words that I wrote that night, " I don't know what's happening to me.. Ooh, ...

Oh, no... I just remember that.. I am an author! Oh, yeah.. I am.. Natasha Christiani, authour of a book titled 13 (tiba belas). Oh my word..

Here I am Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness the chains of yesterday surround me I yearn for peace and rest I dont want to end up where you found me and it echoes in my mind,keeps me awake tonight I know you cast my sin as far as the east is from the west and I stand before you now,as if I've never sinned but today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from you leaving me this way and Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west cause I can't bear to see the man I've been rising up in me again in the arms of your mercy I find rest, cause you know just how far the East is from the Westfrom one scarred hand to the other. I start the day the war begin sendless reminding of my sin time and time again your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in today I feel like I'm just one mistake away,from you leaving me this way and Jesus can you show me, just how far the East is from the West cause I can't bear to see the man I've b...

So, last Sunday, we had a communion at EWC. And the cell group is taking a turn to serve a communion. and that day, they prepared something unusual for communion. They have a skit, about the last supper, Jesus with His disciples. And during the skit, this one little boy name Levi or something like that (don't really remember who it was), saying.. "My daddy is Jesus, isn't he? My daddy is Jesus. My daddy is Jesus." Over and over again. So, I look back and look at this little boy. And he just looks so excited telling all this people that his daddy is is being Jesus. With smile and his bright eyes, he just so proud of his dad. But, as I heard him telling all the people... I'm wondering, is Jesus really are my daddy? or just my daddy is being a Jesus? There's two different meaning of this words, "My daddy is Jesus." First, just like Levi, he's been telling all this people that his earthly father is being Jesus in the skit of life. Or second, Jesus is...

Hello! How are you guys doing? I hope you're all doing alright. because, here, I'm doing fantastic! Thank you so much for all your prayer because the amish community and the buggy doesn't creep me out anymore. he he.. so, anyways, this week has been a wonderful and great week. I work at the pre-school, so I gotta get up early, like at 6 o'clock every morning, which I'm not used to it. But, how well, that's not a big of a deal anymore. God is so good. Sometimes I just can't believe it that He sent me to this place. This is like being in the third world, it feels like I'm going back to the year of 1800 or something like that. It's very country, big family, and full of bicycle and horses.. and people that dressed up like they're in 1800. And at night, the light goes off at 7 or 8 o'clock. (if they have a light). Which is really weird, because I used to live in the big city when the lights doesn't go off until mid-night. But I tell you, this ...