Yaak maak!


Yaak maak!!
In Thai language it means "very hard!"
Yeah, there's a lot of hardships that I need to endure while I'm here. Nothing too major though, but I definitely need God's grace to survive here. I mean, who doesn't right?
Anyways, I make some friends from one organization named "the Lighthouse Ministry". They are affiliated with YWAM Chiang Mai and they provide guest houses. And I get connection with this one girl that work in the bars and she have some good friends that she introduces to me. So I thought, AWESOME! right?
Yeah, so I went to the place once and get to know couple people there (can't really give much details, sorry) and really felt like this is what the Lord want me to do.
I prayed about it and I really feel that the Lord is giving me peace to do this and He gave me this verse about, "This is the path... walk ye in it."
So I was so encouraged and really starting to get excited about this ministry.

But the program that I involved in BCOM, doesn't really allows me to get involved too deep in ministry during these first 4 months. Because we're going to really focus in learning the language and knowing the culture before we jump in to the ministry. So I thought, okay, I'm just making some friends and nothing is wrong with it.

Couple days ago, I hang out with this girl and then I met some people from YWAM Australia and they shared a lot of story with me and I was so blessed by them. After I met them, I really feel like I really want to hang out with them all and really get involved with their ministries. They went to bars and they worship and do some cool evangelism and prayer.
I want to be there with them so bad... but for some reason I didn't get any peace about it. Not sure why, and my leader told me that I probably shouldn't get involved in ministry a whole lot, yet, so that I can focus in building the team and learning the language.

It was really hard for me to decide to not go out with them and stay at home, spending some times with the Lord and my other teammates. Then I ask the Lord, "God, I want to do your work, I want to do something for you, is there something wrong about that?"
And the Lord answer me, "Nothing is wrong with it. But I just want you to wait. And all I want is your obedient, and not your works. You are here not for them, not for the lost, but for my glory."

Then I realize that God is up to something better and greater that he prepared for me. Sometimes my mind just can't get around it, but I believe that He knows what he's doing. And I am here not doing what I want, and I am here not for the people either, I am here so that the Lamb who was slain receive the rewards of his suffering.

I am not here for 10 sheckles and a shirt, I am here for His glory.

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