reach strategically

ah, it was in the chapel room today... I fall asleep. Oh I was so tired though.. but that's not what I wanna talk about. I saw these kids coming in, it was Jeremy Johnson's kids.. aww, they're so cute. but what remind me is.. I remember those days, when I was a child.. my parents used to took me to church when they had prayer meeting or something. I don't understand a thing that happened in the church. I was wearing pajamas, it was so comfy. When people pray.. I will just running, back and forward, twirling, spin around, laugh at myself, talk to myself and when I'm tired I will be just cuddling in the feet of my mom and fall asleep. I don't understand a thing, I know nothing, nothing about church. All I know, church is fun.. there's people and I can play. Just going through my childhood, made me sad. Eh, sort of. Because now I understand church, whatever happen. The politics, the performance, the structure, the liturgy, and all that stuff. When I was a child...

Still on my journey finding my identity. Ah! It is so aggravating.. because it seems like it never ends. But you know, being away from my comfort zone, being in another country was not an easy transition for me. It's just different than last time I came here, because the last time I was here, it's only like 3 months, and then extended to 6 months. But now, I know that I have to stay here for at least a year. And just the fact that I can't change that, made me really sad. It was huge for me. I remember telling the Lord, that this year.. will be just me and Him, walk together, side by side. There will be nobody else. And he actually DID. He pull me out of the way and take me tight to His side. It sounds really good, isn't it? Walking with the Lord.... it's good, but it wasn't easy. At all. But he never said it will be easy anyways.. He said that he will give strength. It was one of those days.. again, I felt frustrated. Nobody to talk with, alone, and nobody seems...